i speak the truth.

Hi im Maya & i like sleeping & eating.

I love my skin!

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from secrethistorys  Source arthaemisia

x

Tagged #wow  

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from punkcupcakestyles  Source ohstylesno

poisonappleprintshop:

The Divining Gloves go on sale tonight at Midnight! Limited quantities available. White on sheer black and Gold on sheer black available.
Poison Apple Printshop

poisonappleprintshop:

The Divining Gloves go on sale tonight at Midnight! Limited quantities available. White on sheer black and Gold on sheer black available.

Poison Apple Printshop

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from madmadamgem  Source poisonappleprintshop

uhbishop:

Fake Movie Meme: Hunted

natalie dormer & dane dehaan as twin vampires
sebastian stan & tatiana maslany as twin werewolves
lupita nyong’o & anthony mackie as twin hunters

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from ofmadnessandgreatness  Source arobarton

hey molly i'm having a slow day and i was wondering if you were in the mood to tell another story because literally i have not laughed as hard at anybody else's anecdotes on this entire goddamn site and it would be pretty rad

ofgeography:

when i lived in spain, i worked as a “bartender” in madrid. i put “bartender” in quotation marks because my boss fernando trusted me with literally nothing but cleaning glasses and occasionally a CLOSELY SUPERVISED mojito. the bar was called “la chocita sueca,” which basically means “the swedish hut,” but can also, as far as i can tell, mean something VERY DIFFERENT and vERY RUDE.

  • this led to a lot of general confusion from the patrons, who were always wondering whether i (the only super, super white person) was The Swede. 
  • "THIS BAR IS NOT NAMED AFTER ME," i would shout, trying to be heard above the music and the huge portrait of elvis that hung behind the bar. "I AM LITERALLY JUST HERE TO WASH DISHES AND MAKE TERRIBLE MOJITOS."
  • "OK BUT ARE YOU SWEDISH?" they would ask me. "LIKE ARE YOU SWEDISH, THOUGH?"
  • "nO."
  • "ARE YOU SURE?"
  • "VERY SURE."
  • "YOU LOOK SWEDISH."
  • "I UNDERSTAND, BUT I AM NOT SWEDISH."
  • "NOT EVEN A LITTLE SWEDISH?"
  • "NOT EVEN A LITTLE SWEDISH. AS I HAVE SAID."
  • BUT YOUR EYES ARE VERY BLUE?”
  • "I AM NOT FUCKING SWEDISH!!!!!!!!" 
  • at which point fernando would sweep in and say soothingly, “shhh, it’s okay. why don’t you go wipe down the vomit on the bar??”
  • rinse. rather. repeat.

anyway, on weeknights when the bar wasn’t busy, fernando always let me come in and talk to him and learn how to make drinks. as someone who hates hard liquor, i was very bad at it. my entire repertoire is a mimosa and a tequila sunrise. in my defense, fernando was aware of this going in. the entire hiring process went:

ME: can i work here?
FERNANDO: do you know how to make alcoholic beverages in exchange for money?
ME: no.
FERNANDO: come on wednesday.

so one day, my roommate bryan takes me out for a delicious fancy dinner, along with his little brother and his little brothers three friends, who were all visiting and sleeping on our floor. on the walk home i noticed that we were going to pass by la chocita (which was about a 5 minute walk from my house). so i separated from bryan and the boys to drop in and say hello to my old friend fernando. 

it’s a tuesday at 9:30p.m. so the bar was naturally empty, and fernando was just chillin’ with the elvis picture and the human-sized statue of liberty replica. 

"maya!!" he said. he called me maya, as did most of my friends in madrid, because it was easier and because i hate the way "molly" sounds when it is breaking up a spanish sentence. "molly" in any language that isn’t english literally sounds like a fart on a first date.

  • "molly" when said in an english sentence: what a cute, rosy-cheeked young lady, probably looking to cuddle a dog and have a good laugh!!
  • "molly" when said in literally any other language: WHAT IS THIS GROSS PIECE OF WOOD IN MY MOUTH?? IT TASTES OF TODDLERS AND THE ASHES OF YOUTHFUL DREAMS.

so in i pop, and there is fernando, who immediately sets to telling me all about his son and how handsome he is and how he’s about my age and fernando’s not saying anything but he’s JUST SAYING—

"here, have some of this," fernando said, and handed me a glass of kalimotxo.

  • WHAT IS KALIMOTXO, you ask? PRETTY EASY:
  • 1. get some cheap-ass wine, like hella cheap, like the CHEAPEST WINE YOU CAN FIND, PROBABLY IN A BOX, PROBABLY CALLED “CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP WINE FOR POOR COLLEGE STUDENTS.”
  • 2. get some diet coke.
  • 3. get some ice
  • 4. combine.
  • 5. “WHAT IS HAPPENING????” - your body, horrified and delighted.

"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? i have class tomorrow?"

"WHO EVER GOT DRUNK ON A LITTLE KALIMOXTO," fernando said.

i took the drink.

  • "WHAT IS HAPPENING????" - my body, horrified and delighted.

"try this, too," fernando told me after a moment, pushing a bright green glass in my direction. "it’s new. i’m trying it out."

"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? i have class tomorrow?"

"WHO EVER GOT DRUNK ON A LITTLE BRIGHT GREEN BOOZE?" fernando said.

i took the drink.

  • "THIS IS DANCING A SAMBA IN MY MOUTH!!" - my actual words to my actual boss.

"wait wait, try this one," fernando added, now pushing a tiny shot glass toward me with gold-colored liquid and sugar at the bottom.

"idk, fernando," i said. "it’s a tuesday? my lips are tingly?"

"WHO EVER GOT TINGLY LIPS FROM A LITTLE GOLD-COLORED LIQUID WITH SUGAR AT THE BOTTOM?" fernando said.

i took the drink.

  • "it tastes like i already regret it!!!" - me, giving the statue of liberty replica a kiss.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOUR BAR NUTS," i said. "THEY’RE THE BEST BAR NUTS I HAVE EVER HAD. CAN I HAVE A POUND OF THEM?"

"okay," fernando said, and handed me a bag of bar nuts as big as my torso. it was very heavy. it was a tuesday at about 11p.m. and i opened the bag, dipped my hand in, and shoved a whole handful into my mouth.

  • IN MY DEFENSE: these were the best bar nuts in the world.
  • i stand by that.

"you should go home," fernando told me, looking suddenly doubtful. "you have class on wednesday."

"WHO EVER HEARD OF CLASS ON A WEDNESDAY?" i said. "GIVE ME SOME MORE OF THE TINGLY LIPS STUFF." it was probably hard to hear me around the bar nuts.

fernando, now very alarmed, called me a taxi. i should remind you that my apartment was a five minute walk from the bar, but with my hands full of a full 3-lb bag of bar nuts that i refused to give back and a my fist closed tightly around the neck of a bottle of tinto de verano, there was really no way i was going to make it that far.

"where to?" the taxista asked. i gave him my address. he blinked at me. "that’s… right there," he said, and pointed.

"yes," i agreed, taking another mouthful of bar nuts.

"we can see it," the taxista said.

"yes," i agreed again. "would you like some bar nuts?"

"….no," the taxista said, and pulled forward toward my apartment, glancing nervously back at the chipmonked motherfucker doublefisting bar nuts and dessert wine in the back of his cab on a tuesday.

"DID YOU KNOW," i said, "I AM NOT AT ALL SWEDISH?"

"okay," the taxista said. "we’re here."

i don’t remember what happened after that, but in the morning i woke up to the following three surprises:

  1. the tinto de verano was nowhere to be found. nowhere. did i give it to the taxista???? did i leave it on the stairs???? HAD THERE EVER BEEN A BOTTLE AT ALL???? WHO PUT SEVEN LEMONS IN MY FRIDGE?
  2. i was wearing socks on my hands.
  3. i woke up to bryan’s brother and his three friends asking loudly, “why the hell are there nuts everywhere?”

"NO REASON," i said.

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from madmadamgem  Source ofgeography

disneydamselestelle:

Frozen is the first movie to show depressed charact-

image

Frozen is the first movie to be about an outcast-

image

Frozen is the first movie with magic-

image

Frozen is the first movie with a dysfunctional fam-

image

Frozen is the first to not have love at first sight-

image

Frozen is the first Disney movie to teach girls they don’t need to be saved by-

image

Frozen is the first movie where the princess isn’t only focused on marrying a prince-

image


Frozen is the first-

image

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from fadingchildhoodmemories  Source disneydamselestelle

"

Dear every person who says that a mental illness is not
a valid reason for not being able to attend school normally,

Say that to the counselor, the school nurse, the paramedics,
and the friend who walked me to the office on the day of my overdose.
Say that to the kids who saw me sleep through first and second period.
Say that to the boy who sleeps in every class.

Tell that to my teacher who had to talk me out
of suicide on a school night.
Tell that to my bio teacher who saw
me break down during a suicide prevention assembly.
Tell that to the housemates who have heard
me call the suicide hotlines.
Tell that to my freshman English teacher who tells
me I look so alive now in comparison to
how dead I looked freshman year.

Say that to any friend who has had to talk me out of suicide.
Say that to any friend who has had to calm me down
after an anxiety attack.
Say that to every friend and follower that has
come to me with thoughts of suicide.

Tell that to the kids who have failing grades because
they can’t focus, the ones who can’t make it through
a school night without having an anxiety attack,
the kids who sleep right when they get home and
straight on until morning, the ones who
have more breakdowns a day than meals a day,
the ones who have spent more time staring
at hospital walls than school hallways.

Tell that to the kids who cry every night.

Tell that to the teenagers in psychiatric wards and treatment centers.
Tell that to the family of someone who has just committed suicide.

Tell them that school is more important than their sanity.

"

—  5:58 p.m. (An open letter to ignorance)

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from randompiggy  Source angryasianfeminist

"When you’re at the pool lounging on a beach chair and some little kids are running and the lifeguard screams out “no running” do you respond “excuse, not all of us are running”? No, you don’t. The lifeguard didn’t have to specifically state who they were talking to because you’re intelligent enough to comprehend that the comment wasn’t being directed at you."

—  

Found a quote that shuts down that “not all men” argument pretty well. (via mykicks)

AHaha. haaaa. hh.

(via thefeministbookclub)

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from randompiggy  Source mykicks

whitepeoplestealingculture:

humansofcolor:

nativefaces:

CULTURAL GENOCIDE:  Before and After photo of a young Cree boy, forced to attend a Canadian “Indian school.” (1910)

Despicable.

I want to show this to white people who say that cultural appropriation isn’t a big deal because you’re taking a part of someone’s culture that was insulted, attacked and taken away from them for years and years and now you want to wear it as some sort of costume or fashion trend. But your ancestors were the ones to forcefully take away and obliterate OUR cultures for centuries. We STILL aren’t allowed to freely embrace our cultures because white people love to insult us and make fun of us, but white people themselves love wearing it because they think their mayo asses are entitlted to everything. Nope fuck off. 

whitepeoplestealingculture:

humansofcolor:

nativefaces:

CULTURAL GENOCIDE:  Before and After photo of a young Cree boy, forced to attend a Canadian “Indian school.” (1910)

Despicable.

I want to show this to white people who say that cultural appropriation isn’t a big deal because you’re taking a part of someone’s culture that was insulted, attacked and taken away from them for years and years and now you want to wear it as some sort of costume or fashion trend. But your ancestors were the ones to forcefully take away and obliterate OUR cultures for centuries. We STILL aren’t allowed to freely embrace our cultures because white people love to insult us and make fun of us, but white people themselves love wearing it because they think their mayo asses are entitlted to everything. Nope fuck off. 

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from scarlet-ashes  Source nativefaces

concentratedridiculousness:

sherekahnsgirl:

cartoonpolitics:

"A person of good intelligence and sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it’s not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street" ~ George Carlin

This man was a pure genius.

The comic works just as well if you ignore the class labels - the white man rides straight to the top, the white woman can MAYBE make it if she climbs the treacherous rope, and the POC is going to have to learn to fly.

concentratedridiculousness:

sherekahnsgirl:

cartoonpolitics:

"A person of good intelligence and sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it’s not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street" ~ George Carlin

This man was a pure genius.

The comic works just as well if you ignore the class labels - the white man rides straight to the top, the white woman can MAYBE make it if she climbs the treacherous rope, and the POC is going to have to learn to fly.

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from ambassadorofunicorns  Source cartoonpolitics

moonblossom:

221cbakerstreet:

qwanderer:

thisisevenharderthannamingablog:

girl-farts:

kingcheddarxvii:

notviolet:

Chris Pratt Interrupts Interview To French Braid Intern’s Hair

SHUT THE HELL U P

this man has gone too far

damn

Where does Marvel FIND these people?

Imagine - Chris Pratt and Jeremy Renner show up to your door the night of prom and your parents are like WHY DO YOU HAVE TWO DATES AND WHY ARE THEY SO BIG AND BEEFY AND INTIMIDATING but Chris is just like “Nah I’m hair” and Jeremy raises his hand and says “And I’m makeup”

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from starlordbitch  Source chrisprattdelicious

oberon-king-of-the-fairies:

beasleypercussion:

jaclcfrost:

"you’ll understand when you’re older"

i am older and i understand absolutely nothing

I actually think I know less than what I did when I was younger. 

dear god yes. Kindergarten was like “yeah i could probably rule the entire world why aren’t I president yet” and now i’m just “how do i get out of bed”

what the hell happened

Posted on 2 October, 2014
Reblogged from iamcompletelyhysterekal  Source jaclcfrost


Vivid Theme by JoachimT
Powered by Tumblr

Install Theme